6 02 2009

Getting all hot and sweaty has always been one of my favourite past-times – but not in the gym. I’ve done my time there, cycling like a demon, climbing the imaginary stairway to heaven, rowing till I drop but not going anywhere. I’ve tried the scheduled classes of yoga, Pilate’s, aerobics, bum and thigh work-outs but they just don’t do it for me. Inspiration came in the form of a famous Olympic swimmer. While trapping away on my own private Agrus, this Adonis emerged from the water. Body gleaming, shimmering, dripping wet, accentuating every muscle in his delicious torso, I peddled on for another few hundred immaginary meters, just watching. He made it look so easy. So, I bought a suitable costume, cap and goggles. Not a pretty sight. I was aware that everyone could watch me as I disrobed and made my way into the pool as fast as I could without slipping and making a complete ass of myself.

The first session didn’t last long, at all. I did 4 lengths of the pool ending up in the “deep” end. i did this on purpose, so that I could, nonchalantly remove my goggles, sinking chest deep into the water, so as not to display my heaving chest, while gasping for breath.

But things got better. I am now able to do 600m without stopping or kicking off from the wall. Getting the chlorine smell of yourself is another matter. Even though there are always cleaning staff around, doing their thing, the showers just freak me out. No chance. I dry myself off as much as I can, battle my way into my track suite and head home.

Husband asks why I dont just swim in the pool at home. Given the fact that I’m not supposed to kick off from the wall after turning around, I’d be swimming in circles.

Just call me Nostredamus..

19 06 2008
  • I have lived a long and happy life, doing some smart things along the way and some not so smart things…here are a few of the not-so-smart things..

It takes a BIG person to admit to all this stupidity…

1. After bringing my new-born first born home, he started screaming and screaming. In desperation I called Mom. What to do, I begged? “Have you tried feeding him?” she asks. No, I hadn’t thought of that small matter.

2. While water-skiing (maaaaany years ago) I was “quizzy” to see what talent was riding in a boat going the other way. Not paying attention, I didn’t see the overhanging tree, crashing into a thorn covered branch, breaking two ribs and having a 2 inch thorn embedded in my side.

3. I made meat-balls, put them on a plate in the fridge for a while (as one does)….taking them out again a while later, I dropped the whole lot on the floor. Glass everywhere…also in the meatballs. “Oh, never mind” says I, “we can give it to the dogs”…

4. And more recently…during a power cut and before I had a gas stove..with food half cooked…”No problem, I’ll just finish it off in the microwave”.

5. When Kevin was little, he asked me why my cellphone lights up when it rings…”It’s so the deaf people can know when their phone rings”. Said I.

6. The key story.

7. I once burned the tip of my nose lighting up a stompie….

This is liberating…laugh all you like, you have also done some dumb-shit stuff….

Holiday snaps…

13 09 2007

Dullstroom     Sedgefield again.

The wild coast at dawn.

 Some of SA’s best kept “public” secrets – the Wild coast and Machadadorp district. I had the priviledge of growing up In the Transkei in the 70’s,  having weekends and long holidays all along the Wild Coast as a youngster. Looking back, I now know that youth is wasted on the young.  

Who am I?

28 07 2007


100% nascisistic but the soul-searching revealed some stuff…try it!

• I want to be known as a devoted daughter, wife, mother and friend.
• I love music – anything form Karen Zoid to Led Zeppelin, Metallica to Mozart. (Whether its my I-pod in the gym, CD’s in my car or at home, sometimes very loud and other times in the background).
• My favorite food is crayfish. (Although don’t get to savor it too often!)
• My favorite drink is double Jack on the rocks with a splash of lime.
• I love walking on the beach.
• I am a keen twitcher (bird watcher).
• I love going for long walks in the bush and going on holiday to places where there is no electricity.
• I must have fresh bed linen on my bed. (The thought of mites in my mattress and linen feeding off dead human skin and bodily fluids freaks me out!).
• Reading is one of my favorite past-times.
• I read the newspaper from front to back (even the “hatched, matched and dispatched!”)
• I grow African violets.
• I have a very wide general knowledge. (Mostly totally useless information!!).
• I feel proud when I drive past a house or building that I designed or had a hand in.
• I like to watch are doccies (with the exception of 7de Laan – yes, a soapie!!)
• I love to laugh and cry easily during sad movies.
• I can never remember or tell jokes well.
• I cannot stand pretentious people.
• I will avoid confrontation at all cost but there is a line that if crossed – well, lets just say it can get ugly.
• I clean furiously when I’m angry.
• I like my home to be neat and tidy but I’m not neurotic.
• I fart in front of my family.
• I detest shopping.
• I am proud of my children.
• I love it when there are 10 cars parked in our driveway when my kids having friends over.
• I socialize with my kids friends but I know when to leave.
• I seek out solitude. I like my own company.
• I have a short circuit between my brain and my mouth but the current flows freely between my brain and my finger-tips.
• I am a morning person.
• I don’t like coffee but love black rooi-bos with lemon and honey.
• I treat myself now and again to a treatment at a health spa.
• I think having a scence of humor is essential for maintaining relationships and your sanity.
• I try to never look back.
• I am an eternal optimist.
• I hate routine.
• I love doing laundry but don’t do ironing.
• I love cooking but hate washing up. I often run the dishwasher with only two plates and a couple of glasses in it.
• I make a mean curry and lasagna to die for. My sticky toffee pudding is much loved.
• I am very interested in genealogy.
• I don’t really like going to the movies.
• I am a cat and a dog person.
• I am a good listener.
• I can converse easily with strangers.
• I never judge anyone.
• I like to try new things.
• I have an open mind.
• I am very bad at administration.
• I want to swim with wild dolphins.
• I want to do a buddy sky-dive.
• I want to sit in the jump seat of an aerobatics plane doing loops and dives.
• I want to travel more.
• I AM still going to buy and learn to ride a motorbike.
• I am not a hoarder – things or clothes I haven’t used or worn for a year, I chuck.
• I never procrastinate.
• I sometimes tend to over-think stuff.
• I can go for days without needing to talk to anyone.
• I like to look good and take care of myself.
• I am a chocoholic (reformed!)
• I enjoy a small cigar after a good meal.
• I don’t like standing around at cocktail parties.
• I will clean up anything – puke, shit whatever but don’t pick up dead birds, catch spiders, bats,rats or snakes. (Not in my job description!)
• I don’t socialize with my neighbors. Good fences make good neighbors, I say.
• I hate guns.
• I am very patient. (MOSTLY)
• I am never late for an appointment.
• Driving through heavy traffic is one of pet hates.
• I ALWAYS give way to taxis.
• I have 3 or 4 really good friends that I have known for nearly 30 years.

Slippers vs Stiletto’s.

21 07 2007

Comfortable slippers…we all have them. After a hard day at the office, there is nothing better than kicking of your shoes and sliding into a pair of well worn slippers. Feelings of AAAH, I’m home now, so I can relax and be just who I am. I don’t have to be the super efficient go-getter, the over-achiever, the corporate-ladder-climbing bitch that is required of you to earn your salary every month. I have had countless pair of slippers over the years. They become like old friends, each toe, each bump and indent on your feet has been molded into the soft inner sole. They make a distinctive sound when you shloff around on the tiled floor. Strangely enough, I (maybe others feel differently about it) will never wear my slippers when expecting company. It’s a part of my routine that is private. My relationship with my slippers is secure, comfortable and relaxed.

On the other hand…Stiletto’s. That pair of black leather, 4 inch high, pointy-toed, thin ankle strapped stiletto’s at the back of my cupboard beckon me whenever I reach in for something more “practical”. Only on high days and holidays do I get the opportunity to take those girls out and put them to good use. The routine goes something like this…a night out is planned. The day arrives. Soak in a hot bubble bath. Rub down with a nice rough towel to get the skin smooth. Moisturize from head to toe. Do the make-up. Do the hair. Slip into the little black number. Slide on the sheer, silky stockings and finally place feet slowly into shoes. Tighten straps. Stand up and stand tall. I feel like a different person, suddenly. I walk up straight, my stride is longer, I feel desirable, gorgeous, sexy, confidant. There is NOTHING that says sexy more than a confidant woman in a pair of stiletto’s. These shoes are not for the feint-hearted. I wear then for two, three hours, tops. By that time, my feet are really hurting. The shoes have squeezed, pinched and chaffed to the point of causing me real pain. But I like it. Once at home, I rub my feet, gingerly touching the blisters and swollen ankles. My slippers are a welcome relief.

Every REAL woman should have a pair of comfortable slippers and a pair of BITCHIN’ stiletto’s.

What happens when you tell a “housewife” to get a “hobby”…

16 07 2007

What happens when you tell a “housewife” to “get a hobby”.

A hobby??…..Mmmmm, now why didn’t I think of that…when I said I’m bored that translates into having an hour or so with nothing pressing to do. As far as actually DOING something is concerned, just FYI: (you’ve opened a bee’s nest here!!)
1. I DO NOT have a full time maid. I would not like having her under my feet 24/7.
2. I keep a home together and functioning, like a well oiled machine, for a family of four (plus various pets). That includes ALL the cooking and doing ALL the laundry.
3. I do volunteer work for Ancestry24 transcribing documents.
4. My genealogy work (note – “work” not “hobby”) keeps me busy for 3-4 hours a day.
5. My growing responsibility towards the care of my mother weighs heavily on me. My brother and sister live too far away.
6. I am the conduit through which all things pass in my family – I mean my whole family – whether I like it or not. I have unwittingly become the “glue” that tries to keep it all together.
7. I am wife, mother, friend, daughter, taxi driver, confidant, shrink, nurse, chief cook and bottle washer, coordinator, organizer, chef, cleaning lady, general handy “man” and sometimes, just sometimes, I have an hours or three to spend as I please.
8. The work I do, like that of countless other “stay-at-home-moms” is a thankless, silent and unappreciated job from which there is NEVER respite. 24/7/365.
9. The perks of the job? Knowing that I have raised, almost single-handedly, 3 of the nicest, well-mannered, hard working, honest, fun-loving kids that I know of. The Platinum credit card doesn’t hurt either.

I was going to apologize for this tyrade, but hell no. Your comment about getting a “hobby” so as not to be bored, just pissed me off, big time. Being bored is only a case of my (temporary) bad time management.

The shit hitting the fan (or was that the ball hitting the screen?).

9 07 2007

I’m soooo glad I’m not 17 years old anymore….Let me re-wind here and fill you in on the background. About 3 weeks ago, our “old ” TV packed up. The very day before the Boks were playing England in the 1st test of the Tri-Nations. So Hubbee went off and spent a small fortune on a new, flashy, huger than anyone REALLY need, flat screen TV. It was hooked up and ready to go minutes before the match started. All good, so far? Three weeks pass, everyone enjoying the new addition when youngest sprog returns from holiday, starts up an energetic game of fetch with the dog (yes, throwing the ball in the house – “DIDN’T I TELL YOU NOT TO DO THAT???”) AND THWACK…new flashy flat screen TV is no more.

My heart just aches for young lad but shit happens, I guess. I remember as clearly as if were yesterday, me standing in front of my dad, eyes downcast, wishing he’d have his say and get done with it…but no, he would rant and rave for a hour – this was quite a regular occurance with me. Hubbee is soooo not impressed (understatement of the decade) saying that he’d better get a job ‘cos it’s gonna take a lot of table-waiting to pay off the damages. I just keep my head down, flying under the radar – getting on with other things….tum-tee-tum…another day in the life of “These are the days of our mornings”.